A birth story of EPIC PROPORTIONS. Part 1.

We all knew she was going to be big. (Kevin is 6’9” and I’m 5’9”.) But I guess we didn’t think she was going to be THAT BIG. Kevin was just under 10 lbs (9lbs 14oz), while I was 7lbs 4oz. Both of our moms are about 5 feet tall!

Remember our birth announcement photo? We tall.

Since I was 38 going on 39, I was flagged as an “old ass mom” (AKA “advanced maternal age” or less nicely, a “geriatric pregnancy” *BARF*) which actually is what they call any pregnant lady over 35 years old. (Yeah, what?!) This meant that I got extra tests like extra ultrasounds. 

Apparently the young’uns only get a 20-week anatomy scan. I had the 20-week scan and got another one every 4 weeks after that! We all know that "Asian don't raisin" and I could still pass for 25, but they had to go by my real age. I actually didn’t mind because it was fun seeing her creepy little 3D face regularly.

definitely creepy

not so creepy, kind of cute

Every OB appointment you go to, they also measure your “fundal height” which is putting a tape measure over your growing mountain of a belly. From the very beginning, I was consistently measuring 4-5 weeks more than I actually was. 

Like all new future mamas, I got a little obsessed with having a great birth experience and birth story. My mom had 3 of us, and her labors were only like 2 hours, 1 hour (that was ME! Always the competitive middle child, I was the fastest to come out!), and 2 hours. Granted, we were all smaller than Ainsley would be (and my mom is way smaller than I am), but as my PT said, my mom practically pooped us out! I was pretty confident I could push out a 10-pound baby, if she ended up being that big. 

Feeling huge but glam

Oh yeah. I did my research. Most of the time, when they estimate you’re gonna have a really big baby and recommend a C-section, it’s not actually necessary. (See this link: Evidence on: Induction or Cesarean for a Big Baby) The measurements aren’t super accurate. I totally wanted to go the unmedicated, low intervention, vaginal route. (Soap box: I have learned not to call a vaginal birth the more common term “natural birth” because that’s just people being afraid to say the V-word.)

So here’s some fun stats:

28-week scan: 3lbs 9oz. 98th percentile
32-week scan: 6lbs 10oz. 99.98th percentile
36-week scan: 9lbs 7oz. 99.98th percentile 

Well… when you have 4 more weeks to go, and the baby inside your belly already measures as huge for a baby OUTSIDE your belly… you plot the data points and extrapolate the graph, like the good little nerd you are.

And you get an estimated birth weight of 12lbs.

*GULP*

I was not super confident I could push out a 12lb baby. 

But I didn’t have to make that choice, because my OB team made that for me. Apparently, the ACOG (American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists) recommendation for a baby estimated to be more than 5kg (11lbs exactly) in the absence of gestational diabetes is a scheduled Cesarean. You don’t want to go into labor and have the baby get stuck, get suffocated, dislocate a shoulder, get a permanent nerve injury, etc etc etc. Or have like all kinds of *GULP* vaginal tearing.

They scheduled me for 3 days before my due date and I was pretty sure I was going to go into labor early and that we needed to schedule for much earlier. I actually stopped working 3 weeks before my due date because I was HUUUUUUUGE and could barely manuever myself to do really simple things at work, like cast a patient’s leg or get myself around the parallel bars. And just in case I went into labor early, because I looked like I was about to give birth, like yesterday.

The supply of Costco "bath tissue" shall
forever memorialize the Great TP Shortage of 2020

But we did not go into labor early. AT ALL. None of the signs. 

So we had a date set. December 2, 2020.

To be continued...