Wednesday, December 7, 2011

it's not about the knee.

I can blame the knee, the car accident, the stupid Korean driver all I want, but what it came down to, was this:

I don't want to do it any more. I am so burnt out.

There was this small voice in my mind that had been saying this for longer than I care to admit. It wasn't about being poor, it wasn't about the knee damage, although those were definitely some of the straws that broke the camel's back.

It took me a long time to even admit this to myself, and once I did, I finally started to feel better. But for a long time, I had a lot of guilt associated with feeling this way. Because why should I feel this way? Everyone kept saying they wish they had my "job". Oh, how wonderful it must be, to do this for a "living"! Gosh I wish I could get paid to just train all day! You are the luckiest girl in the whole world!

I don't mean to sound ungrateful, and I do appreciate all the support and encouragement from everyone.


I just wasn't happy any more.

Somewhere along the line, something that I loved to do and wanted to do became something I had to do, was obligated to do. It became something I resented and even hated at times.

I have had enough triathlon stuffed down my throat to last several lifetimes.

I am proud of everything I have done, and of course reserve the right to get over being burnt out and gimp'ed out and change my mind to come crawling back to triathlons and Ironman someday, but in the meantime, I am walking away.

Please respect my decision because this is finally MY OWN decision after letting myself be influenced by too many other people for far too long.

Which means, I don't want to hear you telling me:

  • you'll get over it
  • oh, you can't quit now! you were on the verge of a breakthrough!
  • just do this (fill in the blank) race with me!
  • (or any variations of the above)

In the meantime...I have a new sporting adventure planned. Stay tuned.


  1. How about.... I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND!!!!! If anyone gets what you are going to I do. Over the last month I have finally taken my life decisions into MY hands and no one else's. For me the sport that was hard to stop doing was softball, for which I went to college to play, and man the grief I got from my mom about that one. Sheesh.

    Anyhow.... I fully respect and support your decision.

    Now... Come back to SF for a little bit so we can HANG OUT!!!!!!!!!! I miss you.... oh bring that boy you live with too, I'd like to meet him. ;-)

  2. It's been fun following your adventures as a professional triathlete, and completely understand where you are at (was in a somewhat similar place many MANY years ago with bike racing). Hope to continue to read about new and FUN adventures you may have.

  3. Wongstar - I'm looking forward to continuing to follow you. I can't wait to see what's next! Take care of YOU! I'd still buy a Wongstar sticker if you do them...

  4. You have to do what's right for you, and if racing's not doing it for you, then stop doing it. Don't make yourself miserable.

    If you change your mind, great. If you don't, also great.

  5. Wongstar -- More power to you! I've really enjoyed following your adventures over the past few years, but I very much respect your decision to step away from triathlon for awhile. Triathlon should be fun; when it gets to the point where it's no longer fun, it's time to pursue some new adventures. I have no doubt that you'll accomplish great things, wherever life takes you!

  6. Wongstar, you'll always be Wongstar Superstar no matter what you do. I was one of those jerks that suggested that you do another rate in 2012 (Vineman). Looking back and seeing how you reacted, I feel the need to say sorry. Someone else wrote that you will be a kick a** AG-er when the time is right so I hope to see you running past me one of these days. Me and my two daughters really admire you and are wondering if we'll ever see you at Pacific Super Market in SF one of these days. I hope you don't mind if we ask for an autograph!!! Take care and keep those posts coming!